Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in pure juice's LiveJournal:

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Tuesday, November 24th, 2009
12:36 pm	What There Is None Of Here in Macondo 1. Irony 2. Escarole 3. Motorcycle helmets 4. Martha Stewart Living 5. Curbside mailboxes (7 juiceboxes | squeeze)
Monday, November 23rd, 2009
6:55 am	Tiny Pre-Coffee Rant So the sewers are overwhelmed and the waters are being polluted with our own delusions. I'd like to thank Howard Jarvis and Grover Norquist and Bill Fucking Clinton and the DLC and Larry Summers and all the neo-liberals for this pie in the sky idea, that we can have roads and sewers and public school systems and prisons and finance systems and not pay for them. This shit cocktail is for you, boys. We are now officially a third world country. Thanks. ( NYT On Sewage Infrastructure Failure ) In these sentiments, Sir, I agree to this Constitution with all its faults, if they are such; because I think a general Government necessary for us, and there is no form of Government but what may be a blessing to the people if well administered, and believe farther that this is likely to be well administered for a course of years, and can only end in Despotism, as other forms have done before it, when the people shall become so corrupted as to need despotic Government, being incapable of any other. -- B. Franklin, 1787 http://www.americanrhetoric.com/speeches/benfranklin1787.htm (7 juiceboxes | squeeze)
Friday, November 20th, 2009
10:59 am	In Other News... Just as I was bemoaning the dearth of gossip which meets my standards, Belle de Jour unmasks herself as a forensic epidemiologist, her Daddy unmasks himself as the customer of at least 150 prostitutes, her ex starts making homicidal threats, and the absolutely insane British press, really the best in the world, they don't pretend it is the profession of gentlmen, from the Times on down, berate themselves for not being able to track down her identity, and berate her for glamorizing prostitution. There will always be an England. And, six weeks after my first foray to Jolene an hour down the I 25 in Belen, I'm making the trek again today for a cut AND color. Candy apple colored streaks, and Pete's Cafe, here I come!!!! Shall I get the newly-hip 1990 Johnny Depp pompadour from Crybaby? (2 juiceboxes | squeeze)
10:32 am	It Ain't the Tsunami That'll Kill Ya, It's the Muzak on Automated Voice Mail Systems There's nothing quite so just-shoot-me-now as a Microsoft Luddite or an IT bore, but dang. I've just spent 10 days duelling with arrogant Mac fucks, seriously vicious HP toolies, a changeover from appalling Comcast to OK Qwest, whose MS software [watch out, here it comes!] hijacks your entire fucking system just so's you can connect the goddam.... Never mind. I managed to print out my paper, even if my voice did not last long enough to deliver it. Thanks to Jack Daniels' smoke. I think I'll strangle him with my now spurious Ethernet cable. The 50" belt and the Gucci horse bits on the teeny little gigolo shoes always slay me. Rock on, Paulie Allnuts. (squeeze)
Wednesday, November 18th, 2009
1:38 pm	An Arroyo Runs Through It 2 ( Done, My New Office Is Duly Blooded, Needs Work, I Rolled Out of Bed and Hit the Plant Lists and Am Still in My Jammies, Lunch First ) (2 juiceboxes | squeeze)
Monday, November 16th, 2009
7:41 am	Twentieth Century Fox I woke up singing this. I don't know if it's about Johnny's death or X's telling me about his night rambles. (squeeze)
Sunday, November 15th, 2009
7:55 pm	Grateful 2 Gobble gobble. Despite the now permanent coat of KILZ on my hands. (2 juiceboxes | squeeze)
4:35 pm	Grateful Delighted to report that Acey is eating again and isn't pissed off about losing an eyebrow any more Jack Daniels will not be here for Thanksgiving, he's flying back east to go smoke cigarettes with his repulsive daughters and that the wonderful gnm, who is doing the best writing on Obama on LJ, is also absolutely right about how HGTV has sold out. It's all about real estate now, which while a reasonable calculation of what the news is, is a serious bore. DIY TV is the place to be. Lotsa hardcore drillin', men in tool belts and Hard Wood t shirts. Yow. And I scored this Hollywood Regency chandelier for the Pillow Talk room off Etsy. It's just like (more or less) the one Doris has in her study overlooking the 59th Street bridge. Yay. (3 juiceboxes | squeeze)
Saturday, November 14th, 2009
6:51 pm	Decor The pillow talk room has a pantry, whose absolutely hideous cabinets I covered with KILZ today. It is my favorite room in the house, perhaps, and I was thinking as I painted it about my grandmother's pantry. She had a fruit decal on her icebox, and I wanted some decals in my pantry too. I found these vintage Meyercord decals. And some adorable cactus and Mexican village ones to match at Etsy. Go me. There were two choices for pantry decor. I still might go for the sputniks. http://www.tias.com/9105/InventoryPage/1598486/1.html http://www.cb2.com/family.aspx?c=581&f=4901 (squeeze)
8:11 am	Huffin the Fumes, Drinkin the Kool Aid I'm very excited about my $50 eBay stool whose legs, as you can see, match the Bertoia knock off. Transparent chair in front of the picture window, armless sofa and stool across from two armless slipper chairs is going to be the convo area in the radioactive spumoni living room. (Please ignore the coffee tables from a former life, ditto the dirty dog cover on the sofa. There will be a circular taupe rug and much else.) I am excited about what I'm going to do with the stool. I'm going to prime it, enamel it white, tape it up, glaze it with taupe, comb it when wet, let it dry, untape, retape the painted bits, glaze and comb the formerly taped bits, to achieve a herringbone pattern. I love me some Martha. www.marthastewart.com/article/herringbone-chair Here's where to get the comb. www.dickblick.com/products/combs/#photos Ditto the acrylic glazing liquid to mix with your paint. www.dickblick.com/products/golden-acrylic-glazing-liquid/ The seat shall be reupholstered either in Tibetan lamb or a very textural bathmat that's on order, winging its way in this direction. I'm leaning toward the bathmat cause it's washable, vegan, costs one-third the price of the lamb, and reminds me of the immortal wiener bench. Yay. http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=5209639 ( Lamb ) (3 juiceboxes | squeeze)
Friday, November 13th, 2009
8:00 am	Gitmo I am pondering what the departure of Greg Craig as White House counsel means. I think it's ominous. Craig is an old Al Lowenstein guy and a Teddy guy and....I think it marks the end of experienced, hard nose, liberal operatives in the White House and the victory of signers of secret deals with Big Pharma. I know Craig, and he's an ahole in the way everybody in D.C. sort of is, but he's...well, he's gone. It's part of the end of Teddy and the shiv atmosphere now condoned in the White House, I fear. Not that Craig can't fight and win pretty much any argument. I guess he lost this one. Very very bad. (squeeze)
Thursday, November 12th, 2009
8:10 am	Ohhh Shiny I think I may have to have this for my dining room chair cushions. From the same place I got the Zilla skin, Spandex World. Having a shitty day? JSOI to Spandex World. Snakeskin hologram Spandex. 'Licious. http://spandexworld.com/ (2 juiceboxes | squeeze)
Saturday, October 31st, 2009
8:19 pm	Pillow Talk So I finally stopped dithering about painting the kitchen while eating and cooking out of it and decided just do it. I painted steadily all day with several breaks for Niecy Nash, whom I Iove, and two microwaved meals and trying to split Acey's pill, in the spirit of working-kitchen-painting, with the putty knife, which didn't work as well as I expected. I did not finish extirpating the babyshit green the Peebees loved so much they painted it in four different places, in four different hues -- no, five -- in the house. But oh how just one coat of KILZ can lift your heart. The various hideous tones of bsg -- two of them hand-sponged with yet another hideous permutation -- truly are a just-kill-me-now color. Now we are contemplating just which color of honey blonde the kitchen shall be, among the criteria one being you can see through to the kitchen from the radioactive spumoni green living room. You remember the theme in the family room/kitchen is Doris Day's apartment from PIllow Talk, carefully decorated in both honey and platinum blonde tones to suit. So the kitchen is going to be honey, and the adjoining open plan dining/family room, platinum. http://www.flickr.com/photos/purejuice/tags/pillowtalkdecor/ In case you're wondering, the interior of the foxy 60's built-in bar cabinets, as well as the broom closet, shall be a pale radioactive coral, like the counter in Doris' apartment. And the floor in the broom closet, as well as the fold down inner surface of the foxy 60's bar, shall be tiled with sparkly white lino, so hip I can hardly breathe. The question is, which of the three top honeys goes best with the living room green? Meanwhile, a decision has been made on the light for the center of the kitchen and for the laundry room. It's a plain white 14" energy star disk, very nice. (2 juiceboxes | squeeze)
7:39 am	Rock Gorgons* 1. Springsteen. Toupee? Or hair cut, ironically, hipster style, to look like one? 2. Never been to a dinner party where all the women wore turtlenecks. Except J, the old painter, who wore one of those long-sleeved illusion t shirts printed with full-body Japanese style tattoos. With a respectable black sweater over. We had a nice long convo about how much she hates her old colleague, Judy Chicago, who set up a sweat shop of unpaid craft workers to produce the embroideries for The Dinner Party.** She'd ask J out to dinner and then stick her -- feminists were all about Dutch treat, remember? -- with the check. I said, She is a grifter? J nearly jumped out of her skin and said, totally. That was the deep impression I got from my long revisit to The Dinner Party discussed here at agonizing length a while back. J said I should publish my pussy on a platter critique. Me, I wore a black chiffon tunic with black sequins. Not to change the subject. 3. For some reason I watched the BBC documentary on Heidi Fleiss last night. There's a whole lot of driving around LA, telling the viewer how hard it is to get the story, what you had to do to bla bla bla. I always thought this was, in newspaper stories, a.) incredibly bad form and b.) boring. So, documentaries are about making people see you, the auteur, sweat? How bush league is that? Second, I fell asleep in the middle of it, with the laptop on my chest, because the Hollywood madam, who you'd think would have some kind of interesting mojo, had none. No power. No juice. No it. Nor did her mentor, the previous Hollywood madam, Alex. Fleiss' mother was the only really attractive woman in the movie, very sexy, very strange, really turned on by either the camera or her interlocutor, a pillhead, I'd say, who raised her six children on the slightly skanky Summerhill principles. I don't spend that much time talking to prostitutes of the sex-selling kind, but I was struck by their [obviously drugged-out] dessicated and, quite frankly, unshaggable look. Maybe the expensive ones -- and the producer paid everybody to speak to him, including police chief/ho Darryl Gates, also totally bad form and forbidden in the newspaper world I worked in -- wouldn't speak to them. *An immortal phrase we owe to villagecharm. **The men who made the armature, the plates, and the tapestry banners were all paid. http://www.maureenmullarkey.com/essays/dinnerparty.html (5 juiceboxes | squeeze)
Sunday, October 25th, 2009
3:40 pm	While Tearing Off a Game of Golf, I May Make a Play for the Caddy..... Today would have been my father's 100th birthday. I'm trying to think of what it must have been like 100 years ago today in Blacksburg. Beautiful. Cold. Happy. He grew up the tallest and handsomest, according to my 90-year-old cousin, and youngest of the siblings, a very big fish in a very small town. I think it was either he or Uncle Laudy who told me of watching Daddy do flips around the experimental apple orchard behind their house on the Virginia Tech campus -- from top to top of the trees, bending them down to the ground and pole vaulting up to the top of the next tree. He and my mother are the two most courageous people I have ever met. Unpacking our books, once again, as we did for the first time in my life in 1959, has revealed yet more of his character to me, or that of his family. There's an original copy of Lost Horizon dedicated by the woman I call Aunt Idelette to the one I call Aunt Cherie. To Bob from Bill. I also unearthed Idelette/Bill's obituary in the Salem, Va., paper. It noted her becoming a devoted Trekkie in her last years -- that Dr. Spock haircut she got in 1920 proved to be her destiny. How he loved ice skating. I found what just might be Uncle Laudy's original Boy Scout handbook -- Grandmother Juice having founded the first Boy Scout troop in Blacksburg in 1915, to keep Laudy out of trouble. As he was a Presbyterian minister for like 75 years I guess it worked. Not for Daddy. Happy birthday, Daddy. (2 juiceboxes | squeeze)
Saturday, October 24th, 2009
6:43 pm	$100 for My Eero I did absolutely nothing today, except bake beans and applesauce cookies and score the only 48-inch Saarinen (riiiiiiight) tulip table left on the planet for $100, on Craigslist, right up the street. There was an online knockoff for $325, but they don't have the 48-inch ones any more and I was about to....spend $1300 for a real one? Not. It needs to be re-laminated with Formica on the top. I'm sure Reg the Space Cadet can do this, and I bet it won't cost more than $100. And installing it in the living room, after four months' work, and still like 15 cartons of books and office supplies to unpack, gave me the famous renovator's second wind. I put up the knock off Eames clock, which was practically the first thing I bought for the Rancho Atomico, and I ate cookies and slept on the couch and took some cookies over to the HAP, whose mother confided in me she works for solid waste management and got my municipally-issued garbage can repaired, and took down the piss colored curtains the Peebees had left in the master bedroom, which is now going to be The Studio and moved the table which had been serving as desk from the living room into The Studio along with the Aalto chairs, and played on the Fishs Eddy site, which has the only coffee cups fit for human consumption, and on the coolest rag rug woman site over at Etsy. Today I felt for the first time in four months that the house wasn't going to eat me alive. This is what a bargain gives you: mastery over the money pit. And filling the house with good bakey smells. Inaugurating my four brand new Cooks mag recommended cookie sheets was a trip, and another secret of life was revealed. Making cookies isn't hard if you don't have to wait for the one cookie sheet you own to cool down so you can wash it and grease it and put another dozen blobs of dough on it. Things is looking up. Love Craigslist. (4 juiceboxes | squeeze)
Friday, October 23rd, 2009
11:19 am	Art Haggery I've been sobbing with bereavement over art shows I'll never see back on the green, or brown, east coast. I have determined that round trip off hours air fare is only $222 to the Big Ap, and residence at the youth hostel is only $25 a night for as long as you can take the chickenhawks, the being mistaken for one, the showering in your flipflops, the sleeping on slippery, bum-proof, crackly, plastic encased bunk beds, and the strictly no-nonsense whupass Dominican medical students who run the place, with the backup of their grandpas, the dope dons who live in the PJs next door, so I can qwitcherbitchin and go see stuff any time. My beloved Yinka at BAM. The incredibly kinky Ingres at the Frick, the Comtess d'Houbanville, about whose gray satin skirt deKooning and Gorky argued all night long in the LES automat circa 1949. But so out here there's this. Land art. I'm going to look at it this afternoon. (4 juiceboxes | squeeze)
Tuesday, October 20th, 2009
4:33 pm	Some Kind of Progress During a Cold Rainy Very Difficult Day Fake Navajo Soup, so-called because I made it up. Lamb shanks, butternut cubes, a few pinto beans and a hint of BBQ sauce. Master bedroom floor, day 5. The fumes ain't kilt us yet tho we spent last night respectively in a kennel/motel. Tomorrow we take up residence on the fully cured six-day process floors. Yow. (4 juiceboxes | squeeze)
Saturday, October 17th, 2009
5:02 pm	Day 2 of Rockstar Concrete Band and Day 95,000 of the Sore-Eye Poppy Portal So here's the day's progress on the floors. ( Master Floor with Epoxy Patches Sanded Down, Sealed ) ( Master, First Color Coat ) The sewing room looks much the same. Meanwhile I'm taking a poll on which orange the front door should be: L to R, Tangerine, Orange Pecan, Tangerine Cream, Brushed Orange (10 juiceboxes | squeeze)
10:02 am	Movement Forward Here at the Rancho Atomico with a New Set of Contractors.... ...since Jesus told the HABWC to move back to Indiana and Cowboy J has gone back to South Dakota to divorce his fourth wife. Or she him, I think. Did I relate the tale of how he told the HABWC that as much as they loved each other, as much as they loved speaking old Deutsch Amish to one another, he'd rather work for his old boss, who'd let him drink on the job??? There's no renegade like a renegade Amish kid. Herewith the adventure of the Rockstar Concrete Band, Dylan and Fabian, plus the studly Older Gentlemen who pick up donations for the Habitat for Humanity Restore here in ABQ. They LOVED the purple portal. ( Buh-BYE, Purple Portal of Cheez ) ( Up and Away, Hogwarts Portal ) ( Rockstar Concrete Band (Dylan) Begins Work on Master Bedroom Floor ) ( Rockstar Concrete Band (Fabian) Begins Work on Master Bedroom Floor, with Rockstar Sonic Ear Protectors ) ( Master Floor After Grinding, with Epoxy'd Cracks ) ( Comandantora Inspects Sewing Room Floor Before Grinding ) ( Comandantora Inspects Sewing Room Floor After Grinding ) ( Camping Out in the Vortex of Mayhem, AKA the Living Room, Until Fabian and Dylan Have Left the Building ) I also determined, because I have sekrit powers in this direction (similar to that which can determine which third-string celeb is doing the voiceovers on detergent and Mercedes commercials), that the font used by the chic MCM hipsters over at Erwin House -- who also turned me onto reeded glass -- is the same used for the credits on Bewitched, is called Witched, and is available for free download here. Get your witchy kerner out as each letter needs to be kerned a thousand times. But it will make hottttt letterpress stationery for the Rancho Atomico. (squeeze)